Monday, May 16, 2011

a - okay!

since i last posted a lot has changed.  i moved on from 2 jobs that i felt negative about - one made me feel apathetic & the other made me seethe with anger. nasty combination. 

the new job is great - i sleep well at night and don't dread getting out of bed to start my work day.  however, getting the job did have it's hiccups.  my interview was, perhaps, the most bizarre yet.  i spoke openly and too honestly, which made me realize that my ability to bullshit is pretty much gone.  shockingly, i got the job but needed a driver's license - ugh.  interesting fact: the women in my family have some kind of aversion to driving.  despite taking lessons with a driving school, i failed the first go.  two weeks later i gave it another try and passed!  although i am still not too comfortable with the whole driving thing, i am getting my confidence and my client's don't mind the occasional slamming down on the brake and slower than average pace.

one downfall of starting the new job - i also started flirting with the terrible nicotine monster again.  i know, I know.  i feel guilty some days, other days I feel okay with it.  i remember when i met up for a driving lesson from 'fred', he pointed out a young woman feverishly smoking on the sidewalk.  he pointed out that she had gone through 2 cigarettes in the 10 minutes he was waiting for me.  fred mentioned that he was an ex-smoker and if he started again, he would go right back to it like he never quit and would probably enjoy it.  UGH!  is that what being a long-time non-smoker is like?  it seems that i thought about it constantly - hell, i still do.  but regardless, i have to get a grip and give it another go....

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